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On Missing Home & Standing Behind Fire

Light joys wisp around me. They catch my eye in their craftiness. At the right moment. In my dimmest thoughts.

standing behind fire and the world blurs

The heavy world blurs. Melts. And falls.

standing behind the fire in this world

And there is no way that I am still standing. Except that I have stood behind where the fire has already gone.

That He took it all. The hottest disappointment of the Father. The wrath that burned so sharp it turned a Father’s face from His Son. And in that moment He bore all the heat of that fire and bled water.

Now I stand behind where the fire has already gone. In a world falling apart I hobble around. Unbalanced. Pursuing love. Pursuing to love.

But I am tossed and thrown. I fail. And reflect. Receive what the Son has. I try again.

This road is lonely. It is long and I never know when relief is coming, but it always comes.

He always tends to His sheep.

In the loudness and the fast-paced shrewdness of it all I think I can hear Him. He sweeps his arm from His side and back. He hedges me in. He says, “Stand there. Behind me. Where the fire has already gone.”

So I stand. I wake-up. I try again. Love and peace. Purity and steadiness.

In a world that shouts, Be like me. Take what I have to offer. Covet what you aren’t. Stew over what you don’t have.

Being set apart is not light. And this ache for a home I have not yet seen is always there.

I’ve heard, this is what it is to be a sojourner.

One day I’ll walk right out of this flesh. And the fire will stop burning. I’ll peek from behind the Savior and there He will be. Arms open. Eyes kind.

His embrace will soothe and dissipate the longing wonder.

And I think I’ll hear Him say, “Your journey was long. Welcome home, daughter.”

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  • You have a beautiful way of stringing words, Brianne. There is a stirring in my heart and in my family right now. The shouting of the world has become more noticeable and abrasive in some ways. We are feeling convicted. Sacrifice, obedience and His urgings are calling our attention.

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    • Bri McKoyJuly 18, 2013 - 2:10 pm
      Thanks so much for your sweet encouragement, Michelle. I love how you put it, that the world has become "more noticeable and abrasive." It's so true. Excited to meet you in person in Uganda :) Praying for you until then.

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hello love...

Welcome! I'm Bri! Accidental home cook. Lover of gathering people around a table over a meal. Author of Come & Eat (September 2017). What I really want is to pull out a chair for you at my table. But until then, I hope you stay awhile and enjoy my stories + recipes! 

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