The days emerge without regret, in innocence.
Coated thick with His love, new mercies.
I wake-up energetically to greet it; this cunning little day.
Introduce myself, “Today I’ll do my living in you. In your hours. In your space.”
All the moments and the memories; the harshness and inconclusiveness of the days pound on my heart. Provoking. Cyclical.
I always know His name.
The days are evil…I hear.
So, He secures my undivided devotion. My focus stays steady.
I see myself apart from Him…I am weak, uncouth, unstable.
Then He shows me in Him; wonderfully made.
Holy as He is holy.
Capable of love.
Capable to bring Him delight.
Peace reigns in with each day; He lets me understand His will a little more.
Then there was February 8. Another day I greeted, “I will know You and Your goodness in this day.”
In this day, He had a miraculous kind of surprise…his name is, Beau.
After my roommate Meredith and my dear friend Emily (rock stars that they are) helped him plot and plan – at 9:15 am my eyes greeted him as did my whole being when I flung myself into his arms. He had made the trek from Florida into Compassion’s building.
In this day I understood, a little bit more, His unrelenting goodness. And He chose His son, Beau. A man well acquainted with His heart to expose such mysteries within me.
Then the whisper in my heart as I am trying (and not succeeding) to take it all in, “I came that you might know me too although, my journey was quite longer.”
It is a strange thing when one day, over a course of weeks or perhaps months, even years, all of a sudden a desire, through fruition and an outstretched Arm, has a name. The desire has a personality. It has green eyes and a strong grip. It has a steady voice and it has a love for the Lord that quiets your heart. “It” is actually a “he” and he is Jeremy.
Seemingly and so suddenly the prayer is no longer the receipt of the desire but for the wisdom and ability to walk well with the desire, this man. To honor the Lord for He has lavished kindness on me in His grace. To obey His voice for His sovereignty is on display.
Through this all, the posture of my heart remains resolved in what I have always wanted to be:
To be a woman who brings to my Lord the sacrifice of worship through obedience. To understand His will and to trust Him. To know Him.
In the grand and shinning truth of Love I have come to know that all the attacks and doubts and past hurts seem so very weak and insignificant. My heart is strengthened by knowing the Lord, to know His love.
And so now, a new journey and a new name; living inside my heart – a world of brilliance and grace and strength. A man who honors the King.